I have often
criticized “feminists” for trading power for the appearance of power. Yes, we now have women in the highest positions
in the world, but women have had power throughout history. They just had to use it. I met a man from Kenya. He told me how the men would have their
council. They would break for the night,
go home and discuss decisions that needed to be made with their wives. The wives
would tell them what should be done. The
men would continue their meeting the next night and implement the recommendations
of their wives. Who has the power
there? Is it enough? Not for us!
We need to be at that meeting at all costs!
The ego wants the appearance of power. It wants credit and recognition. I think about fighters like Fedor Emelianenko
who can look like they are losing a fight, but they are not. In combat sports where the ego is a tricky
balancing act, this is an extremely rare quality. Fighters want to go out and dominate from
start to finish, and they want everyone to know it is happening.
Because a fight can be won objectively (knock out or
submission) or subjectively (judges’ decision or referee stoppage), the
appearance of control can be perceived as having equal or greater importance than actual
control. Some still argue that Fedor was
just lucky to capitalize on the mistakes of his opponents, only because his
power is not perceived. But when I look
at the way Fedor devastated his opponents, I believe his actual control made
him one of the greatest martial artists of all time. I don’t argue that when
you finish a fight in spectacular fashion you have the power and the recognition. I do argue that when you lose your actual
power, you will lose the fight. The
perception of power and control are irrelevant.
We all need to find the balance of believing we can and
should have some effect and the humility to know that making the effect is the
true reward… Public recognition of our victory is just an added bonus.
If you’re not familiar with Fedor (or even if you are),
checkout one of my favorite fights vs. Andre Arlovski
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