In everything we do, there is an amount of success and
failure. Getting your hand raised is not
always an accurate measure of either. A
fight is not a finality, it’s a symbolic moment in time, a test that you fail
or pass. It’s a part of a greater
process, not unlike every other endeavor in life. We must prepare, participate, and recover. I’m working on recovery, and it’s definitely
a process of its own.
Physically I’m good, I have been for weeks. I still wake up wondering why I didn’t just
switch my control on my leg lock and I’m still dealing with feelings of disappointment,
but I have acknowledged my mistakes, I have a plan to change them. Most
importantly I’ve forgiven myself.
I face failure daily.
I strive for success, but if I don’t get tapped out, hit hard, or want
to quit, then I didn’t work hard enough. That too is failure. The only way to balance my fragile little
fighter ego is to learn to forgive myself.
Making excuses (no matter how legitimate) and only focusing on the
positive will only create a weakness that will be exposed as soon as the same
situation arises. Dwelling on mistakes
will also only take me so far, in order to rise above them I must make corrections
and let go.
It’s much easier to forgive everyone else, we can make
excuses for them, assume they are truly sorry or have truly changed. It’s a lot harder when we look in the
mirror. We know if our excuses are valid
and we know if we’ve changed. Still, we
can’t let go, but the more we work to fix ourselves and embrace the lessons we
learn from our failure, the easier it becomes.
We have to see our true measure of success in terms of growth. If you can't see your growth, take a little more time to recover.
