Change

If I ruled the world it would be significantly more fantastic, but unfortunately, I don’t.  Well, maybe not so unfortunate.  That would be a huge responsibility, and wouldn’t leave me much time for training, and spending time with my family, which would probably turn me into a miserable dictator, but I digress.

But I noticed the other day that even a small drop in a bucket makes a splash that is just a little bigger.  When I make a change for the better, so does everything around me.  I’ve wondered if it’s just my perception, but something like a clean house is measurable.

So here is my thought for the week:  The only thing you can always change is you.  We get into trouble when we try to change other people, the weather (yes, I’ve tried, but that’s another story), or circumstances, like traffic.  You can change your behavior, you can change your focus, and you can change your outlook.  Gandhi is this: “If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. ... We need not wait to see what others do.” And as usual I agree with him.

Complaining is easy, change is hard.  Choose to make the changes that will make your life better, and you will make the world a better place.  Which is what we would do if we ruled the world anyway, right?

www.KatieCasimir.com

Why Aren't There More Women?

A couple weeks ago my husband was invited to a grappling class at a different gym.  I thought about bringing my gear to see if I could get some work in too, but  I decided to enjoy the rare pleasure of just watching my husband train.  When I saw the average skill level, I realized I had made the right choice.  It was the first and only time I have ever seen a group of guys training and thought “I don’t belong there… yet.”

On the next mat there was a “regular member” class going on.  I couldn’t help but notice the women that were participating.  The four of them were working in pairs.  I could see that they were beginners and kind of girly, but they were trying hard to learn the technique.  It made me smile, but it got me thinking… Why four women in the regular class, but zero in the elite class?  Why are cardio kickboxing classes packed with women, yet I struggle to find reasonable training partners?  It’s the same story in every gym.  Even when there’s “a lot” of girls we’re still only about 20%.  It makes me wonder if the small percentage of women in government, and leadership in general is something they bring on themselves, something they have chosen not to peruse.

I separate myself here because I thrive in the proverbial man’s world.  I always have.  When I was in the 4^th grade I was the girl playing soccer with the 5^th and 6^th grade boys.  They played rough and I loved it.  It made me feel powerful to compete with the boys and earn their respect, even if I wasn’t as good.  The girls were off playing “unicorns” or something. 

This is my experience: Men don’t exclude women, women exclude themselves.  I’m not saying sexism and “boys club” politics don’t exist, I’m saying it’s only half the problem.  I have found that after you push through the initial resistance, men embrace you as the bad ass chick that you are.  They respect you for breaking down barriers, for your hard work, and yes, for your valuable contributions.  Sometimes egos flare, but they flare up against each other too.  It's not personal. 

I think that our society as a whole has embraced the value of female involvement. I’ve been sought out for several jobs as a kickboxing instructor, just because they “need a woman.” The UFC has finally seen the financial benefits of promoting women (thanks to a lot of bad ass chicks who wouldn't go away).   I recently read an article about what companies wanting to hire more women need to do. Yale is even doing studies on how you make this happen. (It turns out you need to have women to get women, preferably in numbers of three or more.)  Doors are opening.

Because I don’t feel this need for other women in my environment, I have a hard time understanding it.  Are women afraid of losing their feminine identity?  Are they afraid of making a mistake and looking weak?  Maybe they just have other objectives for themselves.  Or maybe it’s the Marianne Williamson quote “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”

I know that not every woman wants to be a fighter, a CEO, a hockey player, or a war correspondent.  But if you do, don’t let safety in numbers hold you back, ‘cause I need training partners.

Having two other women in training is like Christmas.  Especially when they're as awesome as Karina and Michelle

www.KatieCasimir.com

On Our Fear of Risk

There are certain fights that are burned into my mind.  They are fights that demonstrate an unquestionable truth about humanity.  When Georges St Pierre fought BJ Penn (the first time) I saw two technical warriors, bringing out each other’s best. When Scott Smith and Pete Sell stepped into the cage, it was a display of heart and determination.  In that fight a man defied his physical state to throw one last punch for the finish.   I am currently haunted by a fight that is only a few weeks old, Tarec Saffiedine vs Hyun Gyu Lim.

If you didn’t see it, here's what I saw.  Saffiedine systematically shut down Lim’s offense with wicked leg kicks.  It was a beautifully executed strategy.  What I find so gripping is that Lim was content in the situation until it was too late.  He fought back in the 4^th round, showing he had the tools to win, but his leg was unable to sustain the damage.  He knew he was getting beat, and rather than taking a risk to upset Seffiedine’s structure, he chose to survive the fight.

It reminds me of the story of the Whaleship Essex.  The crew found themselves in three whaleboats, with very limited supplies, watching their ship sink.  It was 1820, so their choices were limited.  They could travel to a nearby island that was rumored to be inhabited by cannibals, or they could head to a destination that was known to be safe.   This trip would take longer than their rations would last, but their fear of cannibalism caused them to choose it anyway.  A few near dead survivors were found two months later by a passing ship, they were never going to make it.  It is in human nature to prefer a slow march to death (or defeat) than to take a risk that might turn out badly.

We settle for lonely relationships because the crumbs of affection we get are better than being alone.  We continue to work unsatisfying jobs that keep us in debt, because we don’t know what else we can do.  We allow our governments to slowly take our freedom in the name of security, because it’s not that bad…yet.  I’m not necessarily saying go quit your job or leave your partner or start a revolution.  I’m saying we need the wisdom to recognize when we are being systematically defeated, and the courage to make whatever change we can.  We need to find intelligent, strategic ways to upset the structure of whatever is defeating us.  Take a risk, create a little chaos, and be prepared to take advantage of it.  We're all gonna die anyway, why not go down swinging?

I want to leave you with one more fight.  Anderson Silva vs Ryo Chonan.  Fights like this make my spirit sing and show that one calculated risk can change everything.

www.KatieCasimir.com

My Breakdown of Motivation

I suffered a massive void in motivation for my last fight, and I’ve decided to investigate.  After extensive research, with the help of Wikipedia, turns out that there are a lot of studies that explain why we make certain choices.  Eating is motivation to most, as is love, stability etc.  However there doesn’t seem to be an explanation as to why I would prefer to look at the same facebook news feed ten times than go do my cardio.  Or why, even when I started a workout with my husband, I would also start an argument that was sure to end it.  I did all this knowing I would not be my best and I was fighting a dangerous opponent.

I had to look deeper.  I had a lot of emotional lows in the two months leading up to that fight.  I lost my grandma, my ailing car finally died on me, I got a pretty serious injury at work, my claim got denied, and that’s just the worst of it.  This shouldn't have made any difference, in that I usually take motivation from life’s curveballs.  The gym is my outlet for this kind of stuff, and having a fight is just fuel for the fire.  My commitment to my goal, to my opponent, and my training partners was enough to force me into the gym, but I didn't want to be there.  Fear of a bad fight wasn’t even motivation.

In conclusion, I, Katie Casimir, world’s greatest amateur psychologist, don’t have any idea what happened or how to prevent it.  I have discovered some interesting thoughts though.

First, if motivation was easy, then success would come down to things beyond our control.  Things like cultural standards of beauty, natural talent, size, and charisma.  There would be no room at the top for the guy who had the odds stacked against him and just never gave up.

Second, at some point, for some reason, we will all have periods in our life when it seems impossible to get off the couch.  What saved me was my amazing husband (and coach), who loves me enough to make a training/fight plan around where I was emotionally… even if he didn’t understand it.  The plan almost worked and I came away with a feeling of success even if I didn’t win.  I have an amazing network of support in my family and friends and a promise to an eight-year-old little girl that I plan on keeping.

My 1st round kneebar that I didn't quite finish

So maybe motivation is this simple: Have goals, and good reasons for them.  Keep close the people who believe in you and your goals.  Keep everyone else at a safe distance.  Be ready to work hard.  When you don’t feel like it and life gets ugly, lower your shoulder and keep working.  This will be your success regardless of the outcome. 

 Motivation is more than a feeling.  It's a deeper desire to push through whatever is in between you and your objective... even if it's you.

www.KatieCasimir.com

How to Slay a Giant

David has long been one of my favorite characters in the Bible.  Not so much for taking on Goliath, but for being human and having flaws.  But he loved God and God loved him, and he achieved greatness.  I recently heard a new version of an old story, and I’m that much more inspired by him.

It appears that in his epic battle with Goliath, he brought a gun to a knife fight.  Apparently his humble sling could be used to knock birds out of the sky and have lethal force at up to 200 yards.  No surprise he could hit a giant between the eyes at a much shorter distance.  If you want the full details feel free to watch the video below, if you want my practical application read on.

This is why I’m so impressed: David spent years perfecting his skill with the sling out of complete practicality.  He was defending his flock.  He wasn’t practicing for war and giants, he was doing his job.  When he saw an opportunity to defend is countrymen with the same skill, he had the courage and audacity to step up.   The soldiers were weighed down by the traditions of war and were afraid, I’m sure, not only of death, but of what a loss would mean to everyone in Israel. David became a legend and a king by looking at a situation with a set of fresh eyes.

In our humble lives we hold potential for greatness, and our greatness can be manifested under the right circumstances.

First we must develop our skills.  I’m sure David practiced with his sling before the wolves showed up.  Then he took out some wolves, THEN he took out a giant.  Only you can know if you are continuing to improve in your day to day life or if you’re just coasting on what has always worked well enough.

Second, look at the world with the eyes of a child every chance you get.  The way things have always been done may seem to be the best, but a child is never weighed down by experience.  They only see problems and solutions, some good some not so much, but they are uninhibited to try.

Third, don’t be afraid of the giant, they’re not always as invincible as they seem (see video).  We must have confidence in our preparation, and the audacity to use what we know.

Last, have the wisdom to recognize your opportunity.  If Goliath had only attacked David’s flock, he would have walked away with a cool story for his friends.  Doing what he did on that massive stage propelled him to legend status, and people forgot all the details that made him human.

Just a few thoughts to start out the New Year:  Work hard. Work Smart. Don’t over (or under) estimate anyone. And when you see your chance DO IT BIG!

www.KatieCasimir.com