On Losing

Listen up.  I’m only going to talk about this once.  The fact is in every fight you have a winner, and a loser.  Losing can have a devastating effect on a fighter's psyche, or can inspire greatness.  Sometimes I think I was lucky to lose my first fight, I learned fast that it’s not the end of the world.  Nobody wants to lose, but I think the fear of losing is much worse than when it actually happens.

My 1st kickboxing fight, my 1st loss

Say what you want about the laws of attraction, it never even entered my mind that I wouldn't win my first fight.  I had been training for years, with several other fights falling through.  I was not intimidated that my opponent had fought four times before our fight, or the fact that she was five inches taller.  I have always considered myself the little engine that could, but I ran out of steam in the first round… Nothing can prepare you for the adrenaline and the intensity of the first round of your first fight.   Years of training went right out the window and I was swinging like an angry Donald Duck. 

I confirmed that night what I already knew.  I was a fighter.   I was so exhausted I could barely keep my hands up, but I kept coming forward and I never gave up.  For that I felt like I had a victory.  The promoter came to me in the locker room, ecstatic about our performance and asked if I was interested in a rematch on his next card.  I felt pretty validated at this point.  I went out into the crowd to meet up with my friends and I ran into my opponent.  I liked her, we made plans to get some training together after our next fight and a couple of fans came to take pictures with us.  I was hooked on the whole experience.

The next day the adrenaline was gone and the reality was there.  I lost.  I wasn't supposed to lose.  The next couple weeks were hard.  And then I found my motivation.  I had clearly won the 1^st round, if my cardio didn't fail me, I would win this rematch.  I didn't have anything to prove to anyone but myself and I started my career long lesson about sport specific conditioning.  The funny thing is, that was my opponent’s last fight.  She got injured before our rematch, and she was done with competition.  Everyone said she had the best fight of her career that night, I guess that satisfied something in her spirit.

I learned a lot from that loss, and every loss I've had since.  I always believe a fight is an opportunity to test myself, test my growth, and learn more about myself.  I learn from every fight, but when things go your way it’s hard not to look past your mistakes, because everything worked out in the end. The trick is finding a way to embrace a loss without embracing losing.

Failure sucks, there’s no denying that.  But how you deal with your failure is what defines you as a person.  Will it cause you to change and grow?  Or will it break your spirit?  The good news is we get to choose.  It’s unfortunate that so much of our value as a fighter is placed on a record, because sometimes you win a fight, but you lose.  Then sometimes you lose a fight, but you win and there’s no way a set of numbers can ever represent the most valuable moments in your career.  So we must keep them in our hearts, and keep moving forward.

www.KatieCasimir.com