On Operating in a Man's World

I don’t generally tell people I’m a fighter when I first meet them.  I want them to know because I think it’s awesome, but I’m never sure how it will be received.  Usually it goes something like “Why did a nice girl like you get into something like that?” or “That’s really cool, but aren't you afraid you’re going to get hurt?” or even “Wow, that’s great!  We need more women showing empowerment!”  No one means it, but it immediately becomes a gender issue.

Where do I begin?  I was born with a fighter’s spirit, a determination to go get what I want no matter the cost.  Everything in me wants to win, wants to be the greatest, and the most powerful.  I have never accepted that because I was small, or a girl that I can’t achieve those things.   While I’m sure that gave my mother endless frustration, I know that she always had a peace that I could handle myself in any situation.

So, here I am a grown woman still fighting against my size and gender to gain the respect of my peers and coaches.  Fighting is a man’s world.  Women are becoming more of a presence every day, but we are still a gross minority.  Most men will have one of three reactions to a new woman in the gym: 1) Ignore you and hope you go away 2) Treat you like you’re going to break 3) Beat the crap out of you, and hope you go away.  When you keep showing up, you get a little respect. When you work twice as hard as they do, you get a little more.  Over time you earn your place, but then you have to compensate for your size… you never get to a place where you get to stop proving your value.

Ironically, the gym has become one of the few places I feel free of gender.   I’m not a man, not a woman, just Katie.  I am powerful, technical, fast and smooth.  I am transcendent.  I have been improving my craft for over a decade and I have the quiet confidence that says, “I don’t have to prove anything to you, but I will.”  I learned a long time ago that it’s best if you don’t just accept those things that you can’t change, you need to embrace them.  The fact that I worked twice as hard in practice has never hurt me in competition.  Nor has the fact that I’m not allowed to complain, or show fear or pain.

The truth is, I love an uphill battle.  I believe it makes the view at the top that much sweeter, but I’ll let you know when I get there.

www.KatieCasimir.com