Wednesday, August 7, 2013

On Vices

I once heard that no one should step on a scale except boxers and jockeys.  I support this 100%.  Maybe I’m a little hypocritical in that because I fall into one of those two categories, but the fact remains I need to be in control of more than how my clothes fit and what I see when I look in the mirror.  As you can imagine, the idea of trying not to obsess about your weight while maintaining a constant awareness of it can be maddening.  It all comes down to self-control and character.

Self-control and character.  It’s easy for me to turn down a cookie at work.  Everyone there respects what I do and I’m praised for my will power.  I don’t have that same accountability when I’m home alone.  Every moment is a choice, will I do the right thing when no one is watching?  Am I practicing what I’m preaching?  One cookie will not change the outcome of my “weigh-in” the next morning and it certainly won’t affect my weight at my official weigh-in.  It will make me a liar.  That does not go without consequences.  Chances are good that it won’t stop at one cookie even if it’s only one cookie that day.  My integrity has been compromised.  There’s the disappointment in myself, and the stomach ache (from the sugar) that will follow.  None of this is healthy, but it gets pushed a little further to the back of my mind with every cookie.

We’re all human.  We want things that are bad for us, and we don’t want the consequences.  We know we shouldn't do certain things, so we try to escape the judgment of others, and we do those things in the dark.  Whether or not anyone sees our misconduct, it happened and the consequences are there.  My consequences will be on display for everyone.  Missing weight would be humiliating, and have serious consequences on my career, not to mention losing a percentage of my purse.  The consequences of sneaking a cigarette out of the view of your children may never come to light, but if you think your lack of integrity on this won’t show up in other areas, you are mistaken.  And by he way, people know, especially your children.

 I have found that I have success by creating some accountability for myself.  I keep one treat in the cabinet, and I can have it any time up until two weeks before weigh-in.  It’s the only treat I can have in that time and I usually don’t end up eating it.  I always ask myself “Do I need this more today than I will later?”  Usually the answer is no.  My integrity is not compromised because it’s in my rules, and I don’t have to feel guilty for enjoying it, if I chose to.  I feel better about the whole situation.

Being honest about your vices can be humiliating, but it’s the only way to have any control over them.  It starts with being honest with yourself.

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